This week, Chukat, in our cycle of Torah, we remain in the wilderness/B’midbar (also know as Numbers) continuing both the journey of learning “the rules” of behavior and right relationship,
and
the physical
journey of travel from slavery in Egypt to the promised land, flowing with milk and honey. I have just returned from traveling both with “my People” ~ B’nei Yisrael (an intense week of study, prayer, and communal living with rabbinic, cantorial, and pastoral students and teachers in the
ALEPH ordination program
),
and
, in Colorado’s glorious, vast, and mountainous wilderness. As I read Torah this week, I experience the words of Parshat Chukat through the lens of my recent experiences.
I note how quickly and intensely we learn when we are away from our everyday surroundings and in “the wilderness” (even if that wilderness is a college campus). We are much more reliant upon one another. Our proximity and potency of experience escalates all of aspects of relationship, both good and bad. Our separation from home (literal and figurative) ~ from familiar practices, people, daily rhythms ~ heightens our awareness and sensitivities. We are, in the same moments, more receptive, expanded and open, and more tired, ornery, and likely to shut down, receding into our individual comfort zone’s and our own narratives.
When we are in mochin d’gadlut (expanded consciousness) we connect with the sacred within ourselves, between ourselves and others, and within and between all things. We vibrate in right relationship and open even more to giving and receiving.
God’s disappointment with the harsh behavior of Moshe ~ striking the rock (an act of anger) rather than speaking to it (an act of faith) ~ is so great that this act becomes a deal-breaker for Moshe entering the land of Israel despite the quality of his leadership and perseverance. This reaction to Moshe’s display of mochin d’katanut highlights the value placed on the quality of our speech and the powerful, spiritual, and creative nature of our speech. We can use our speech to bring forth such nourishment and abundance, kindness and faith. Or, our speech ca
n pour forth with anger, harshness, pain, and destruction.
We are flooded with far too many opportunities to observe the kind of speech that comes from mochin d’katanut (from small, angry places within us) in our communities (real and virtual), and on national and international levels of monologue and dialogue. P
arshat Chukat gives us a window into the value and importance of mochin d’gadlut and how, through expanded consciousness, grace and thoughtful speech we can be sustained even in the most difficult of times.
May we be blessed with the insight to know the difference and the practices (middot) and patience to draw closer to expanded consciousness before we speak. And, when we fail, may we have the courage to seek forgiveness for the hurt we have caused and the genuine desire to err less frequently as we evolve.
Shabbat Shalom,
